Sounds pretty absurd, doesn’t it? But what if you turned this idea on its head? What if instead of seeing online dating as an obstacle, you used it as an opportunity?
Dating Can Feel Hopeless
Any of us who’ve ever used online dating to find a relationship know that it can be both frustrating and overwhelming to try and sift through the endless other people out there searching.
First, the weird profiles. Then, the disappointing dates. Sometimes, you even end up with what you feel like is a great date but then he never calls again or it fizzles after a while or maybe you even considered it a relationship but now it’s over.
So, you give up. “Forget it,” you tell yourself. “Online dating is not working. It’s never gonna work. I’ll be alone the rest of my life.”
Doesn’t that sound so familiar? Any of us who’ve experienced dating online have definitely been there.
Dating as Therapy
But just as therapy gives people tools to help them relieve or heal a disorder, so too can the process of dating (when done in the right manner) be a tool to help you work through your pain of past relationships and fears of ‘never finding the one.’
With the right guidance, I’m telling you it’s not only possible to find what you are looking for, but the process to get there can feel a whole lot less hopeless and frustrating.
In fact, you may even enjoy yourself, and gain ever more confidence through it.
The key is to first determine what it is you’re truly looking for. Next, figure out what patterns of situation have been showing up frequently, and what the biggest challenges have been.
Once you identify these two items, you will be able to be more honest with yourself about your observations of potential partners.
Working on yourself, focusing on yourself, and creating boundaries around yourself will allow you to navigate online dating in a much more freeing way.
It sounds harder than it is, but actually, what you’re doing is simply narrowing your focus only on people who are potential candidates for a fantastic committed relationship, instead of blindly choosing someone based on looks, similar interests, or income levels.
It Is Possible!
When I figured out what I was doing in my dating life that was not serving me, suddenly the hope and possibility of a fantastic committed relationship became real.
Through this new perspective it was like I looked around and realized that my fears were not reality at all! I had potential suitors coming in from all directions, and now it was my job to choose from them.
And over time, the potential candidates to choose from went from weird creepy guys to attractive fellows with admirable and interesting qualities.
I enjoyed many a date with many different men, but more importantly was enamored with my own life the entire time.
This allowed me to open up to someone whom I may have either dismissed unknowingly before, or whom I’d have never come across because I’d given up on dating, but who has since become someone with whom I’m sharing a loving and committed relationship.
I believe that anyone who’s willing to examine more closely what is happening in her life, take the steps to improve her situation, and remain committed to herself throughout the process, can have what she is looking for.